Curse of the Dead Deer

Ever since the accident, I've been under the curse of the dead deer. It's some seriously bad mojo. First, I find out someone used my identity to open a cell phone account. It showed up on my credit report as a big negative. (Note to readers: check your credit often.) I filed a police report and have completed a small forest of paperwork.

Next, my hard drive dies. No worries, though. I back up twice a day, everyday. I check it and all my folders are there. There’s just one problem. My backup utility was corrupted from the get go and all those folders are empty. Everyday for years, I backed up a whole lot of nothing. It was then I realized I have no hard copies of my novel, scripts and all my other writing. I had just purged all the paper and intended on printing out copies of the latest versions. All the digital photos and music I’d never taken the time to copy to disc were lost.

I stood in the service area of Mac Outfitters three days in a row begging for heroic measures. My computer flat lined and they said there were no signs of life. After “there’s one last thing we can try,” Saint Andrew of Apple managed to salvage the bulk of my data. God bless him. I would have given him a kidney or my firstborn, but he settled for tears of gratitude and a small fee. (Note to self and readers: Back up seven ways to Sunday NOW. This blog will be here when you get back.) BTW, If you don’t hear from me, it’s because I lost your contact information. Please email!

So, it should be over, right? No, it’s a terrible trifecta! I wake up in the middle of the night to find that every stress-related illness I’ve ever endured has overtaken me. I’ll spare you the gory details, but the Hunchback of Notre Dame wouldn’t be seen with me right now.

According to the psychic, I should surround my car with white light to undo the bad "car"ma. How does one do that? Do I go to the Mall at night and park between two lampposts? Hmm.

Oh, Deer

On my way into a 3 a.m. show at QVC, I hit a deer on the highway. It was horrifying. I thought for sure I had swerved into the path of a tractor-trailer. The poor deer didn't fair so well. Let's just say Bambi is out there looking for his mama.

Black with fur trim looks very chic, but not when it’s your car. Five panels of my car were destroyed and I couldn’t open my door. The amount of damage was amazing. I managed to do my airing and sell demilune cabinets. The show must go on. Dedication or dementia?

A psychic told me it was karma - or would that be carma? I feel like all the good will I built up with animals from being a vegetarian has been erased. Since the accident I've had to avoid several more deer. Are they after me? It’s pretty darn dangerous out there.

Last year in Pennsylvania, there were 2,487 deer-related auto accidents (eight were fatal for humans). I was lucky and the thousands of dollars in repairs will be covered by my insurance.

Here are five tips AAA Mid-Atlantic offered in the fall issue of Philadelphia Power Drive.
1- Observe deer crossing signs. Decrease speed and drive defensively in areas with high deer population.
2- Be alert. Honk your horn to scare deer away from roadsides.
3- Never swerve (like me). Slow down and brake instead.
4- If a collision with a deer is unavoidable, slow down and release your foot from the brake before impact. This raises the front end of the car during the crash and increases the likelihood the deer will go under the car instead of through the windshield.
5- Wear your seatbelt.