Tuesday, March 9, 2010

She's All That and Knows It

When a beautiful, smart woman continues to pursue a disinterested man who is seemingly (and probably) unworthy of her attention, it’s often assumed she’s suffering from low self-esteem. It may be quite the opposite.

This woman may be so confident in her "fabulousness" that she’s incredulous when said man doesn’t also see it. She is left to assume he is dense and then rises to the challenge of his deficiency. Determined to make him aware that she is wonderful, this type of strong-willed woman will persevere for months, even years.

Typically, this situation ends with another intelligent man who recognizes her worth without excruciating effort. She will then push aside her embattled ego and make room for true love.

As Erica Jong said, “You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.”

Three decades of field research have led me to this sociological conclusion. My methodology included roughly 21,900 hours of phone interviews with female subjects. Half of these were conducted with a particularly interesting case study I’ve titled “Veronica.”