Van Gogh Would Cut Off His Other Ear

What was the first painting that grabbed your imagination? Where did you see it? How did it make you feel?

My parents had Janson's History of Art in our bookcase while I was growing up. It was huge and I could barely lift it to the table. I would devour those pages of paintings as I imagined the stories taking place in them. We only had one TV and I didn't have first rights to it. The book was entertainment. (And I walked miles to school in the snow...)

Botticelli, Caravaggio and Dali were among my favorites for their drama and symbolism. I was just as fascinated with the painters themselves. When I was failing French in high school, a self-imposed book report (practically a thesis) on Paul Gauguin saved my grade. I didn't care for his art, but he was French and fairly interesting.

My parents took me to all the museums within driving distance and if you dated me, you got dragged to The National Gallery and The Philadelphia Museum of Art. And you liked it! I minored in Art History in college and had to buy my own Janson's History of Art. It is in my living room bookcase now. My kids have only cracked it a few times. Too many TVs!

As a reporter, I covered all the big exhibits for the Philadelphia Museum of Art and finally found an appreciation for Impressionistic and Modern art. Cezanne's work, and everyone's, is all the more interesting if you know the history behind it.

And to think people had these paintings in private home collections....

My parents have a couple treasured oil paintings on their walls. They are landscapes on canvas from the 1800s. Original art lends a legitimacy and intimacy to rooms, the way books do. I think that's what is missing from most homes today - real art. There are too many purchases made at the Home Goods store because they are inexpensive and match the colors of the room. Van Gogh would cut off his other ear if he observed this trend.

Find your art on ebay, at estate sales and small galleries. Just make the purchase personal. Frame your kid's finger painting. Take a water color or pottery class. Bring art into your home, visit museums and be inspired.

My favorite artist and inspiration is John William Waterhouse. His paintings are below. He was a Pre-Raphaelite artist, 1849-1917, who painted powerful women - mythological, saints, witches, mermaids - in a classical yet modern way for the times. Click here for more info.

QV...C You Later, Mom

When checking on my mom's house, I found an HSN (Home Shopping Network) package had been delivered to her. The betrayal of it all! I work on air for QVC. My mother is a turncoat, or should I say turnchannel. It appears shopping is thicker than blood. I'm officially up for adoption. Maybe HSN will sell daughters as their value of the day soon. Until then, she's fresh out.

Celebrity Sighting in Aisle 9

During my latest trip to the local grocery, the manager informed me that I was no longer their lead celebrity shopper. I can't say I was surprised. It's really not that hard to outshine my not-so illustrious career - a TV commercial for a local radio station, QVC guest hosting and a not-yet (beginning to suspect never-to-be) released movie. I knew the day would come when my status would be usurped. But by who? Apparently, Jake Gyllenhaal and gal pal Reese Witherspoon have been hanging in my hood and needed some milk. By all accounts they were quite nice and posed for photos. The checkout guys will have something to talk about for months - maybe even years. Now I've got to up my game or find somewhere else to buy my bread.

Who Are You?

While chatting with Archbishop Wood's principal about my speaking on Career Day, she commented on the pressure placed on kids when we ask what they want to be when they grow up. I agreed and offered an alternative. We should be asking them, “Who are you?”

That question gets more to the crux of the matter. Decisions based on personal truths tend to work out better than those based on desire. Our wants can be misinformed and fleeting.

I wanted to be a rock star when I grew up. Never mind that I couldn’t sing or play an instrument. (That hasn’t stopped some.) I've never been one for relentless travel or repetition. So much for worldwide concert tours with night after night gigs. It's no surprise that never worked out.

Who was I in high school? I was curious, communicative and very social. In my spare time, I wrote notes, stories and poems. I’d answer that question the same way today. I do what I am in my job, and not so surprisingly, I’m very satisfied. Do what you are!

Whether you’re an astronaut or laying Astroturf, you can bring yourself into any job. Former QVC host Mike Rowe, who is famous for his show “Dirty Jobs” on the Discovery Channel, once wrote, “Never follow your passion, but by all means bring it with you.”

I think that’s brilliant. He explained it further in an interview for Outside magazine. “If you bring your passion with you, you can apply it to anything that makes sense. If you follow it, you’re going to be miserable until X, Y, Z happens, which might be never.”

Whether you call it fate, God’s plan or luck, life takes many unpredictable twists and turns. The one thing that is stable enough to rest your future upon is you. Who are you?

Joan F*$%ing Rivers

When I got to QVC’s front doors at 2 a.m. during Monday’s blizzard, a tiny figure draped in a chic black coat held the heavy door open for me. It was Joan Rivers.

When people discover that I work on air at QVC, I almost always get questions about her. “Is she a bitch?” “What does she look like in person with all that plastic surgery?” They want some juicy dish and I've got none to serve up.

I have loved Joan Rivers from the moment I first heard her brash brand of humor on Howard Stern 15 years ago. My undying loyalty was sealed when she complimented a suit I was wearing. Where was my red carpet that day?

For the curious, here are my limited professional observations.

1- Brings her cute non-yippy dog to work diva-style.
2- Always impeccably dressed and attractive. (I’ll join her society for preservation.)
3- One of the hardest working people in show biz. Check out her hefty professional history here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joan_Rivers
4- One hell of an entrepreneur. (She brings Bergdorf’s style to my price point and makes a tidy profit. Win–win.)
5- Makes QVC entertaining.
6- She’s one classy broad.

Fast fact for writers: Joan Rivers is also an author and screenwriter. And, before her show biz days, she worked as a writer and proofreader at an advertising agency.

From the Flipside of Holiday Fun

Happy New Year! I haven't blogged because over the holidays I'm either the happy hostess or at QVC. This year, I managed to have two parties at home, while on QVC. I missed my own fun!

The week after Christmas, I am always, and I mean always, sick. But I'm recovered and I've been writing my novel. I may finish it yet. Dare I give myself a deadline? Hmm. Why not? Let's say February 25th. You all hold me to it.

My resolution is to be more productive. So far, so good. I dusted off the treadmill, queries are flying out, pages are being filled and I'm trying so hard not to give in to time suckers. I'm even trying out this thing called sleep. I find it helps me get more done while I am awake.

I will have to forgo my new friend REM tonight, though. I'll be on air overnight and home just in time to get my day started. Only sweet day dreams for me.

Bullseye

A deer crashed through a window at QVC and made it all the way down a long corridor to the studio entrance. They're looking for me. I’m a marked woman. Thank God I was off that day.

Oh, Deer

On my way into a 3 a.m. show at QVC, I hit a deer on the highway. It was horrifying. I thought for sure I had swerved into the path of a tractor-trailer. The poor deer didn't fair so well. Let's just say Bambi is out there looking for his mama.

Black with fur trim looks very chic, but not when it’s your car. Five panels of my car were destroyed and I couldn’t open my door. The amount of damage was amazing. I managed to do my airing and sell demilune cabinets. The show must go on. Dedication or dementia?

A psychic told me it was karma - or would that be carma? I feel like all the good will I built up with animals from being a vegetarian has been erased. Since the accident I've had to avoid several more deer. Are they after me? It’s pretty darn dangerous out there.

Last year in Pennsylvania, there were 2,487 deer-related auto accidents (eight were fatal for humans). I was lucky and the thousands of dollars in repairs will be covered by my insurance.

Here are five tips AAA Mid-Atlantic offered in the fall issue of Philadelphia Power Drive.
1- Observe deer crossing signs. Decrease speed and drive defensively in areas with high deer population.
2- Be alert. Honk your horn to scare deer away from roadsides.
3- Never swerve (like me). Slow down and brake instead.
4- If a collision with a deer is unavoidable, slow down and release your foot from the brake before impact. This raises the front end of the car during the crash and increases the likelihood the deer will go under the car instead of through the windshield.
5- Wear your seatbelt.

Bring A Friend To Work Night

Late July - Scheduled to go on air at 8 p.m., Saturday, August 30.

Tuesday, August 26th - Told the 8 p.m. airing for Saturday, August 30th is canceled.

Wednesday, August 27 - Put on standby for 6 p.m., Saturday August 30th instead.

Saturday, August 30 - At 2 p.m. told I'm not needed. I make plans to have dinner with Angela.

5 p.m. As Angela pulls into my driveway, I receive a call saying I'm needed for the 8 p.m. show and I need to be in a cocktail dress. It will be a three-hour, live, on-air party. Can I be there in an hour to prep? They need bodies to fill the set, so we swing by Angela's house to pick up her party dress.

6:30ish We are in the QVC studio. No one knows what the deal is yet. They are still meeting. Hmm. Angela wonders how I can put up with not knowing if or when I'll need to work on a daily basis.

8 p.m. Angela and I are on the cocktail party set, complete with jazz band, ice sculpture, snacks and wine! Cameras role. We're live folks. We mix and mingle with other guests, hosts, visiting viewers and the models.

8:45 p.m. I attempt to sell my sheets even though I can't hear Lisa, the callers or myself over the band. They didn't have a clip for my battery pack and now it has slid out from the back of my bra. I arch my back and throw back my booty to prevent it from hitting the floor and shattering. Lisa must think I'm convulsing. Despite my issues, we sell out.

9:30 The cocktail party continues and I can drink. Now that we're at least one (600 thread count, Egyptian cotton) sheet to the wind, Angela thinks this is a great job.

11:30 Another hard day at the office comes to an end.

High Thread Count Sh#t

It took four years, but it was inevitable. I said shit instead of sheet tonight on QVC. Wouldn't you like a silky soft shit?

It really wasn't a Freudian slip. It was a very nice sheet set. Say "sheet set" four times fast. Not so easy is it?

It's a tough job folks. It's not all yummy cookies in the green room and hanging out with Joan Rivers. I have challenges.

On the upside, maybe I'll end up on You Tube or Talk Soup. Well, I've got to go get the marbles out of my mouth. I'm back on at 5 a.m.