Joan F*$%ing Rivers

When I got to QVC’s front doors at 2 a.m. during Monday’s blizzard, a tiny figure draped in a chic black coat held the heavy door open for me. It was Joan Rivers.

When people discover that I work on air at QVC, I almost always get questions about her. “Is she a bitch?” “What does she look like in person with all that plastic surgery?” They want some juicy dish and I've got none to serve up.

I have loved Joan Rivers from the moment I first heard her brash brand of humor on Howard Stern 15 years ago. My undying loyalty was sealed when she complimented a suit I was wearing. Where was my red carpet that day?

For the curious, here are my limited professional observations.

1- Brings her cute non-yippy dog to work diva-style.
2- Always impeccably dressed and attractive. (I’ll join her society for preservation.)
3- One of the hardest working people in show biz. Check out her hefty professional history here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joan_Rivers
4- One hell of an entrepreneur. (She brings Bergdorf’s style to my price point and makes a tidy profit. Win–win.)
5- Makes QVC entertaining.
6- She’s one classy broad.

Fast fact for writers: Joan Rivers is also an author and screenwriter. And, before her show biz days, she worked as a writer and proofreader at an advertising agency.

High Thread Count Sh#t

It took four years, but it was inevitable. I said shit instead of sheet tonight on QVC. Wouldn't you like a silky soft shit?

It really wasn't a Freudian slip. It was a very nice sheet set. Say "sheet set" four times fast. Not so easy is it?

It's a tough job folks. It's not all yummy cookies in the green room and hanging out with Joan Rivers. I have challenges.

On the upside, maybe I'll end up on You Tube or Talk Soup. Well, I've got to go get the marbles out of my mouth. I'm back on at 5 a.m.