Do I Offend?

I’m not into bumper stickers and other forms of vehicular conversation. I prefer to blog. Be that as it may, I was shocked at what my friend encountered when she tried to obtain a vanity plate. All she wanted was “S.V.G.” on her plate. The state of PA couldn't approve it on the grounds it might be offensive. Isn't that a violation of her right to free speech? She explained that it stood for “Secret Vette Girl.” Well, that sensitive matter has to go to a supervisor. There’s our taxpayer dollars at work.

SVG. Hmm. Come on everyone. Join in. Come up with offensive matter that fits the acronym. It’s not that easy. I came up with one. Share amongst yourselves. This is fun.

Anyway, how about those flapping balls (testicles) that truck drivers hang off the back of their rigs? That’s what I call offensive. "Mommy, why does that truck have boy parts?" Maybe my friend should add big rubber boobies to her grill or a vagina muffler? Let’s have motorists remove sex parts before we start worrying about the now maligned letters S, V and G. Somebody quick alert Sesame Street. The alphabet better start flying under the radar.

Secret Vette Girl

One of my friends has done the classic mid-life crisis guy thing - bought a Corvette to drive just for fun. Just three problems. It's 10 years too early, she's not a guy and she's got a retirement fund to fill. But I get it. Sort of.

I'm not a car gal. I never noticed what a guy was driving back in my dating days. In fact, I was kind of leery of guys with really nice cars. I thought maybe they were trying to distract attention away from some sort of personal defect or they were spoiled rotten. Both are bad. I do remember when Roy - (my friend to this day, despite his defects) - pulled up to our high school in a DeLorean. I thought it was a little cool - the doors, anyway. But I would never have admitted it.

But I digress. Ever since high school, "Secret Vette Girl" has LOVED driving. So for her, this makes sense. I know she is a little concerned about her investment. My friend has never been very good at denying herself a want and sometimes this hasn't worked out well. However, this time I will steal a line from Oscar Wilde....

"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination."

I don't think he was just referring to money. I think he also meant emotions, spirit and passion. We should consider living outside the preconceived notions of how we are "supposed to live." I hope she'll look at this expenditure as symbolic of a bigger investment in herself. Give more than you think you have - to yourself. It will always pay off. Live large, lady - but do it in every way. Pedal to the metal.